I’m having trouble gathering my thoughts these days. Sort of a form of writer’s block, but more encompassing. I can’t seem to wrap my brain completely around the last month. And the idea of moving back to Dallas is so mixed for me. Right now, I can’t wait to get back to the warmth and comfort of my big group of friends there. But at the same time, it was partially that group that had me running to Chicago. Get out dodge and get out of the drama. But I miss them. I miss them so much. I miss the comfort, and the acceptance, and the support I didn’t even realize I had.
I am sitting here on Sunday of Memorial Day weekend with zero plans. The only thing I have done with friends this weekend was go to dinner for my friend’s going away party. And she’s moving back to Dallas! I have friends here. I have a couple really good friends. I just don’t feel the same volume of warmth and love here that I have waiting for me in Dallas. But if you’ve been reading for a while, you know Dallas wasn’t the healthiest for me. It was like a mental obstacle course.
So instead of doing something constructive this weekend, I have spent most of my weekend watching The Deadliest Catch and playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. My brain just can’t seem to do more right now. It’s like a real thought pops in, and it freezes. Just shuts down.
I really hope I am doing the right thing. The cost of moving is rather daunting…