Moms Will Surprise Ya!

Part of my job at work is to be resident expert on computers…at least until I can no longer fix the problem and then my job is to explain to my father how I need to call our IT guy and how that means it will cost MONEY and then flee the room with as much grace and speed as possible because there will most certainly be a ceramic coffee mug or sharpened pencil following me in hot persuit…

In any case, the day before yesterday my mother was having trouble accessing an e-mail account. Yes. Seriously. An E-MAIL account…so as I was helping her, I noticed her computer was moving slowly and seemed to be infected with spyware. Ever notice how you can just tell when there’s spyware? I told her I would fix it the next day. So yesterday, I decided to do some computer maintenance for her, and cleared up the spyware problem, made her mouse cursor move slower than the speed of light, and then added Firefox. As I did everything I explained what I was doing and why Firefox would be so much better. When I got to the part about the search engine bar, I asked what she wanted me to add to it. She had a little post-it note list of websites she likes to frequent, so we decided to see if they were included in the search engine possibilities.

As I read, and added search bars, everything seemed normal…Wikipedia,, and then…the motherload…She frequents!! My MOTHER! My jaw about hit the floor. I stammered at her, “have you ever BEEN to Urban Dictionary?”

“Oh, yes. It’s great.”

“It’s great? You know it’s for umm, slang, right? BAD slang!”

“Yes, that’s why I go there!”

{Dumbfounded look appears on my face}

“It keeps me informed of what’s going on!” She said cheerily…

“Um, uh…ok…” Thoughts of words like Taint, and Bukkake, and various other sexually explicit words ran through my head…My mother might know what they mean! Gahh!

“You’re going to tell Jenny about this aren’t you.”

“Uh, yeah, probably…” (and all the internets…)


2 responses to “Moms Will Surprise Ya!

  1. If I ever heard your mom say “Frothy Walrus” or “Rusty Meathook”, I would probably laugh until my lungs exploded…or imploded…whatever lungs do when you laugh too much.

  2. heheh. I laughed so hard about this. ‘Cause this is so a conversation that my mom and I would have!

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