I thought today was Wednesday. I seriously did. This morning I woke thinking, “I need to take the trash out, it’s Wednesday. No wait, I took it out yesterday. Why did the trash man come on a Tuesday? Is there a holiday this week that the trash is a day early? Everyone else put their trash out yesterday. The blind are leading the blind. But the trash was definitely collected, I remember dragging in the can with ice all over it. Why did we take out the trash on a Tuesday? Maybe it’s always on Tuesday and I am confused.”
Then I got to work, still convinced it was Wednesday. I turned on my computer. I opened my e-mail. The timestamp said, “Thursday, December 8, 2005.” “Why is the timestamp on my e-mail wrong? That’s so weird! Must be the cold freezing the wires to the computer making it jump foward an entire day because it just couldn’t believe how cold it was. Let me check the computer clock.” It said Thursday too. Definitely the wires. “What is going on??” Finally, I went online and looked at the Yahoo! TV guide on my homepage. It said “Joey” and “The Apprentice” would be on tonight. They are always on Thursdays. “Must be Thursday. Where did Wednesday go?”
Only then did I realize what had happened. Somehow I had skipped a day in my head, because I need more time to get ready for my party, and on top of that, my usual Wednesday night marker, “Lost” was a repeat and I didn’t watch it. So I was thinking it would be on tonight. Which of course means it’s Wednesday.
You know you are in trouble when your internal calendar is set by the TV schedule. They are really going to screw me up when they move Earl to Thursday and Joey to Monday–Joey Tribiani has been on Thursday nights since I was 13.