Conversations With Grandma

Some of you may know that my grandmother is rather neat lady–although she is not actually my blood relative. She was my grandfather’s second wife, but the only grandmother I ever knew. She is 81 and still works as an advertising exec in Manhattan. She is one of the most independent, self sufficient, intelligent and witty people I know–and only 4’9″ tall. I try to talk to her at least once a week, and I find that as I get older, I actually like her more and more. She is very liberal and intellectual so conversations don’t go the way of most grandmother/granddaughter conversations. We talk about politics and religion and relationships…and of course, the weather, because no conversation with an 81 year old is complete without that…But last night, I had the following conversation with her. (Note: She is mad at my uncle for numerous reasons, and she is absolutely one to hold a grudge!)

We had been discussing politics, and got on the subject of Terry Schiavo…

Me: She was only 26 when this happened…What 26 year old do you know that has a living will? I mean at least she had even thought about it and told numerous people. I am almost the same age. Before this, I had never thought to write down how I felt.
Grandmother (Henceforth, G): I don’t even have a living will…Maybe it is time I got one.
Me: Ok.
G: {Silver Bullet Sentence} Then your Uncle Bob could have the burden of taking care of me {said with a slightly evil tone not often heard from grandmothers about their stepsons}.
Me: MAMAW! {Said with a slight smile, knowing how she is always mad at my uncle}
G: Well, he may deserve it.
Me: {Chuckling now and getting in on the conspiratory evil} You could tell him he is in the will–
G: {cutting me off} HE ISN’T IN THE WILL!!
Me: Wha..! Uh, well I was just going to say, you could tell him he is in the will, the LIVING will!! And it would be a nice little slam…Sort of punishment…
G: Oh, well yes. But he ISN’T in the will…{stern sounding now}
Me: {Me chuckling again}
G: You are going to tell your mother this aren’t you?
Me: Umm, yeah I might…it’s pretty funny…
G: {laughing} That’s fine, you can tell her…

When was the last time you conspired with your grandmother to leave your uncle with the burden of taking care of said grandmother if she ever falls into a Vegitative State?? Guess there’s a first for everything.

But then this is the same grandmother that resently told me she and my grandfather were “lovers” before they were married, and another time, essentially told me I should sleep around to get experience…You never quite know what she will say next…

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2 responses to “Conversations With Grandma

  1. I was (am) fighting with one of my brothers, your grandma told me, “He’s a jerk, sometimes you have to accept that there are jerks in your family. Now get over it and move on!”

    I love that woman, she is awesome. Now I just have to get over the fact that I now know 1) your bra size, and 2) that Julia told you to sleep around. I didnt grow up with sisters or any female cousins and its alot of info for one day…

    cuz rob

  2. lol…she has some great advice…

    Sorry…I am sure the shock will wear off shortly…

    Can you believe she said that?? I was all, “MAMAW!!” She didn’t use those words of course…it was slightly more veiled, but that was definitely the jist of what she was saying! She was a bit of a party girl in her day…Ask her to tell you some stories about when she was our age sometime.

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