The Glory That is THE FOOD NETWORK

I need to discuss something with you. I need to discuss the virtues of the The Food Network. I need to tell you how wonderful and perfect that network is. To explain this though, I need to go back to 2001. In 2001, I discovered the wonders of Food TV. I was just beginning my graduate school studies and was waiting tables to support such things. My graduate school was a wonderful place full of awesome professors who hate to get up early. I only had one class in both undergrad and graduate school that started before 9am and it was a summer class in graduate school that was four hours long, three times a week for about one third the summer. Totally doable. The rest of my classes started late and ended early. I think I only had one class in graduate school that ended after 5. My schedule was awesome. Go to class at 9 or 10 come home for lunch go back to class for a couple hours, then head home for a couple hours then, head off to work around 5. Perfect. And on the nights I didn’t work it was even better.

Well, the odd hours I was home meant, A) I needed to learn quickly how to use my VCR properly so I could record the good stuff (although I never worked Thursday nights–Friends, Duh!!), or B) I had better find some other stuff to watch. My odd viewing included EVERY SINGLE episode of St. Elsewhere–TWICE, and every single episode of L.A. Law–TWICE. They ran the shows in order from the first season on, so once they were done, they started over, and you had 365 episodes to show each year…23 episodes a year is only 138 episodes for St. Elsewhere….So everyday at lunch, I made my lunch and watched my guilty pleasures. Until, they changed TV formats. (I also need to inform you that my odd TV habits began in undergrad, as I went home for lunch then too–at that time it was Law and Order re-runs.) So, by sometime in the Summer of 2001, I no longer had my wonderful line-up to watch. I had to diversify. This is when I discovered Sara Moulton . She started with an hour long show called Cooking Live. It was AWESOME! She taught me everything I could want to know about cooking. She taught me how to peel a garlic clove using the knife pounding method, she taught me how to saute, chop, dice, make soup, make pasta primavera, and all kinds of crazy stuff. It was like a whole new world opened up. THEN, I found Rachael Ray and her 30 Minute Meals! Her voice and self inflicted laughter drove me and my roommate bonkers but her recipes were awesome! 30 minutes to dinner you say?? I can do that! What are we cooking today Rachael? Oh a gourmet steak tare tare in 30 minutes?? Sounds fabulous, let’s do it!

And then came Alton Brown. Part scientist, part chef, part comedian. He teaches me how to cook through comedy and chemistry…Seinfeld meets Mr. Wizard meets Julia Childs.

And then, the final pinnacle of Food TV, THE IRON CHEF! A Japanese show with English voice-overs started by an eccentric Japanese millionaire who eats bell peppers like apples, about Chefs who are given one hour to compete in an arena-like setting centered around one unique food, like…pumpkin, or celery or ham…it is almost always something not often found in Japanese cooking…HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG!! Too awesome!

Then, the Sad Days came. I moved to Dallas. I moved into a complex that used a cable company that DID NOT HAVE The Food Network!!! How could they??? I called and complained on numerous occasions and the best answer I ever got was, “we survey the complexes and your complex voted to remove The Food Network in favor of the Discovery Channel…” WHAT???? Why couldn’t we have BOTH??? And WHO would vote to REMOVE the Food Network??? AND WORSE, why do we have 7 channels in SPANISH????? Why don’t you change ONE, just ONE of those SEVEN to The Food Network?? I was distraught. Terribly distraught. The complex next door had the Food Network, but we did not. I even tried to get satellite TV but to no avail because my apartment faced due East.

So I had to remain Food Network-less for 1 and a half years. It was terrible. Then I bought a house!! I called Comcast and specifically asked if MY address got the Food Network. I was assured I would. And the day I had my cable turned on, the first channel I found was The Food Network. Ahhh….So now, I can watch my cooking shows in peace and harmony with the world. What a wonderful life! {Giant peaceful grin across my face}

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