This is how it goes at work:
Me: I bought some framed pictures for the product photo shoot. But since I am doing the shoot in my office for the home-y look and I liked the pictures and want to keep them, I paid for them myself. Not with company money.
Bossman: Why would you do that?? I don’t care if you use company money for the pictures for your office!
Me: Umm…ok, but if I had used company money and then you had seen them hanging in my office you would have said I bought those pictures with company money to use for personal use and been mad.
Bossman: No I wouldn’t.
Me: Uh, ok. Well, I am also painting the walls of my office Sage for the photo shoot to add to the home-y look. BUT, don’t worry, I am painting my office myself.
Bossman: Why would you paint it yourself?? Get one of the guys to do it. [meaning one of our manufacturing employees who paint for a living].
Me: Well, I didn’t want to use hourly wages for this. But ok. I thought you would be mad if I asked to have one of them do it.
I can never win. If I had said all of that in reverse I would have been in trouble too. Grrr…